Worth The Wait
Life can be tough.
It can be downright debilitating at some moments. When things start to hit you back to back to back…to back—it can feel like the Lord, Himself, is trying to break you. Like, “Lord, don’t you know I’m going through enough already?” And of course, we all know the answer to that.
(It’s yes, in the event you were trying to act brand new.)
I’ve been there. Way too many times. And, yes, I’ve felt every bit of frustration that weighed heavily on me. “Lord, I’m trying. I promise You, I am. But how do You think I’m strong enough to take this too?!” I don’t know how many years—in a row—that I asked the Lord to just give…me…a break! Before I broke.
When my granny passed away. When my marriage was basically over. When I wanted to take my own life (yet again…and many don’t know about that. But I promise we’ll get to that). When my job was the last place on earth I wanted to be.
I wanted to just disappear.
Like not run away…but disappear. Just vanish. It was too much, and I just couldn’t wait another day for another piece of bad news. How could this be life???
I was tired. And I didn’t care what that scripture said. I felt like the Lord was placing way more on me than my five-foot-nothing frame could properly carry. In my eyes, the Lord was overloading my spirit man. And if this was what it took to be spiritually strong, I could stand for being a little spiritually out of shape. I felt like I didn’t need to be a spiritual giant if I had to go through everything that I went through.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, simply put had I not gone through all that I’ve gone through then I wouldn’t be able to tell my story the way that I am.
Now, go back to the Cristal from 3 years ago and tell her that same thing. Chile, I wouldn’t wanna be you. Because that Cristal wasn’t trying to hear it. That Cristal was sick of quoting scriptures to be in the same mess. That Cristal was tired of hearing, “It’s happening for a reason.” That Cristal wanted to slap every person in the face who told her to just pray about it. In her mind…prayer wasn’t working.
But it was!! She just couldn’t see it. She didn’t see the foundation that prayer was laying. She didn’t know that every prayer that was prayed—by her or someone else—was moving into that next level of her life to uphold and strengthen her when she got to that place. She didn’t know it because she didn’t see it. But it was, in fact, working for her good!
In the scriptures in Jeremiah 29:14, it talks about how God will deliver you from bondage and captivity. But it doesn’t stop there. It goes on to say that God will bring you BACK to that place that He has delivered you from. But why would God do that? Why would God deliver me from a failing marriage and a poor mental state just to take me back there?!
Well, it’s not so that I would live in that place of bondage again. It wasn’t so that I would be mentally triggered and relapse to that old way of thinking. It wasn’t to hurt me. But, it was so that I would be the EVIDENCE to those of you who may still be stuck in that place, or those who knew me back “when” I was lost and depressed. And also…to myself, so that it could truly be said that ONLY GOD DID IT!
That it was Him that brought me out and no one else. That it was Him who turned that failed marriage around. That it was HIM! No one else can take the credit for it! Not me—not anyone!
God delivered me from that terrible place to allow me to walk back through it—by way of my testimony—and be in complete and total freedom. That place that once held me captive has no power over me anymore!
And the same will happen for you. I know that it seems awful right now. I know that it seems it will never get better. I know that it seems God is taking pleasure in your pain. I know that you’re crying, “What next, Lord?!” I know you’re frustrated. I know you’re tired. I know you’re to the point of breaking!
BUT YOU WON’T BREAK!
How do I know?
Because I didn’t!!
Because God brought me through it. Because God delivered me. And He will also deliver you.
We’ve been here. Your struggle may be far from my struggle. Your trials may look nothing like mine. Your pain may be ten times worse than what I’ve endured. But you will still come out of this!
And when you come out of this, God will allow you to flourish as those who misplaced and mishandled you during your hard times will have no choice but to watch! And He’s going to bring you back to that place that He delivered you from so that you can see:
That place that you thought you’d never get out of. That mindset that you thought you’d never be free of. That trial that you thought would last always. That person that you thought you would always be…well…you’re not there anymore. Your mind is now free. That trial (though it may have lasted long) was only temporary. And you are NEW!
You will walk back into the place that is currently holding you captive. The only difference is that when you finally do, you will be free. You have time between “Now” and “Then”. And when you get to “then”, you will be healed. You will be mended. You will be whole. You will look nothing like you do right now!
So, don’t think it’s forever. It’s not forever! It’s preparation for who you are to be “Then”. So keep praying. Keep praying. Keep praying. And get ready. Prepare yourself for who you are to be so that you will walk back through your place of bondage boldly and with authority. And you will look at that place and laugh because it will look so small. Like you went back to Elementary school and wondered how you could have ever seen this place any other way than what it looks like now. Get ready, because you will come out with new eyes, new mindset, and new perspective. It may not be now. It may not be tomorrow. But, you will.
And trust me…it will have been worth the wait.
