Who you are behind closed doors matters more mama
This other day the kids and I went to the library, got some books and later on we went to the library park to play, I thought to steal a moment to myself while occasionally glancing at them. I received a call from my sister, while chatting to her I noticed glances from pass by and I translated that as “they probably think I’m a bad mom becomes I’m not spending time with my kids” I then quickly hung up and went to the kids.
A similar thing happened at church, the kids were excitedly showing each other crafts they did in Sabbath school, I thought what they were doing will make me look like a “bad mom”. I kept on telling them to stop and after church, an old lady came to me and said, “your kids are so lovely, don’t beat yourself up for the things that they do, they are just kids and don’t raise them for what people think of you”.
These two incidents made me realize how much we as moms sometimes tend to parent our kids according to other people’s standards. We prison ourselves. While the outside world see only (at most) 10% of what we do with our kids, they don’t see what happens behind closed doors. I came across this illustration by Common wild on Facebook ( and it sums up my point above perfectly. So much of our work as moms is concealed, it can be annoying at times; the public just sees a slice of our days, and it’s often not our proudest.
Here are 3 things moms should free themeselves from:
1 Free yourself of the need to please others.
You are not raising your children for the glory of God when we raise them for the approval of others.
“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety”. Proverbs 29:25
2 Free yourself from the comparing trap.
“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ~ Zen Shin
Another mom’s win in their parenting journey should not translate as a failure in yours. You’re doing a good job
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load”. Galatians 6:4-5
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ”. Galatians 1:10 ESV
3 Free yourself from being a victim of your thoughts.
Most battles are won and lost in our thoughts, don’t let your negative thoughts about you steal away your joy in your parenting.
Philippians 4:8 “ And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise”.
Mama, you are doing a good job – Celebrate your wins and learn from you mistakes.
Used with permission from Futhi Sono, Luluspov.