Always Stay With You..

…

I was running from myself, I felt strained, tired and hopelessly alone. I’d always thought it’d be easy to free myself from stupid, annoying parts of me the world didn’t want. Society didn’t want those parts of me, so I don’t want them too. I wanted to be free, so I ran.
I was on society’s side against myself. I mean if you can’t beat them, you join them, right? Good.
I was running. I was losing out on everything. I was losing out on everything I had the chance to do. I was losing out on the chances I gave myself.
I couldn’t just accept me. It had to be the society’s version of me, or nothing.
I starved me. I jeered at me. I mocked me. I laughed at me. I told myself many hurtful things. I literally begged myself to give change a chance and accept society’s version. I reminded myself that I would turn different and society would never accept me if I didn’t turn different.

Looking back at everything, I’d never been so proud of Me. Me is such a strong personality. Me refused to give in. Me wanted to stay put and fight. I’m so proud of Me. Me knew I was making a wrong choice, so even when Me was alone, Me fought alone.
Me stayed.
Me brought my sanity back.
Me brought me to reality.
Me gave me Pep talks.
Me reminded me that I didn’t have to chase acceptance, but accept me first.
At first, I left Me alone to sort out things. Me was doing so much to make me see how important I am. Me took me on lessons about depression, hurt, brokennees and self esteem.
Me would take me to a mirror and make me take a long look at my beauty and awesomeness.

Me said I was a great fighter, and I believe everything Me made me see, because I stepped out of identity crisis and found out how loved, valuable and priceless I am.
I won, because Me stayed and fought.
Me is one jewel I won’t give anything for, Me stayed even when others walked out.

Idara Joy Uchenaya

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