Growing Under Grace

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And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. —John 1:14-17 (ESV)

As soon as my son got off the school bus, I could tell something was wrong. While he typically runs to the porch with a big smile and eagerly asks for a snack, this time his slumped-over posture showed his heavy disappointment. When he reached the top of the stairs, he broke down, heaving sobs of weighty tears. “I failed my spelling test,” he blurted out, dropped his backpack, and ran straight to his room.

I picked up the backpack and gave a snack to the mischievous younger brother who was trying hard not to say something “smart” about his older brother’s predicament. Pulling a few papers out of the binder, I whispered a prayer for guidance and patience. In our home, our expectations for our children’s schoolwork and any work in general are to always try their best. We tell our children that if they can honestly say that they tried their hardest and still failed, that is okay with us, and to use it as a learning opportunity.

In this situation, I knew my son had not tried his best because he threw a fit about studying his words that week. While a consequence was surely justified in this situation, I felt the Holy Spirit impress another approach upon my heart. Let him grow under grace.

Now, I certainly get this parenting thing wrong regularly. My words do not always drip with honey, and my children know the wrath of a southern momma whose patience has worn thin. But when I pause and pray first, I tend to get through the situation better. The conversation is certainly more fruitful when I ask God to enter the room.

So, I led with grace as I pulled out a different test he had aced, and I ended with grace as I proudly displayed another test he did well on. In the middle of the conversation, I also gave grace as I tenderly gave correction to a young boy with a blotchy red face who was clearly, terribly disappointed in himself. I chose not to add to his heartache and disappointment and instead offered love and forgiveness, because that is what Jesus does for me every time I fail or mess up.

Jesus is always waiting with open arms. Charles Wesley sang of grace most beautifully: “That is grace heaven’s best for the worst. O Love divine, what hast thou done!”

We don’t deserve His divine gift. We can do nothing to earn His love. Yet Jesus allows us to grow under His grace, becoming spiritually stronger and more Christ-like. When we think we will run out of His unmerited favor, when we have gone too far astray, Jesus offers us more grace—grace upon grace.

Questions for Reflection:

1. How do you extend grace to others, especially when they disappoint you?

2. I find it easier to give grace to others than I do to myself. Are you too hard on yourself when you should give yourself some grace? What steps can you take to lean into grace and grow spiritually?