Why stop the habit of blame shifting

Have you ever found yourself pointing fingers at others when things go wrong?

Blame shifting is a phenomenon that has endured through the ages. 

Even within the Christian community, this tendency has not escaped notice. 

Perhaps, at some point, you may have found yourself in an argument with a sibling or a friend. 

Unfortunately, your instinct was to deflect responsibility away from yourself and point the accusing finger at them. 

It's not uncommon; we have all been there.

This impulsive act of blame shifting seems like a plausible escape from consequences. 

However, little do we realize that this behavior is sternly discouraged within the sacred teachings of the Bible.

In this article, we will delve into the concept of blame shifting within a biblical context and uncover the wisdom behind why you should wholeheartedly abandon this detrimental habit.

Why blame shifting happens

Blame shifting is quite common, psychologists have made studies and compiled various reasons for such behavior. Here are some of them.

Defense mechanism to preserve self-esteem or pride

Blame shifting allows you to distance yourself from the negative aspects of your behavior. 

By attributing faults to others, you can maintain a façade of goodness and protect your ego from the potential damage of acknowledging your flaws.

It’s easier to blame than take responsibility

It's often more tempting to shift the blame onto others rather than take responsibility.

This is because acknowledging your mistakes demands a level of vulnerability, whereas blaming someone else may offer an illusion of control and absolution from wrongdoing.

The knowledge that you’ve sinned

The knowledge of having sinned can create a profound internal struggle, causing you to seek ways to alleviate the burden of guilt. 

Blame shifting might seem like an attractive strategy to cope with this guilt. This is because it can provide a temporary sense of relief by placing accountability on external factors rather than confronting the weight of your actions directly.

The relationship between blame and sin

Blaming others for our mistakes is not a new thing. It goes back to the time when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. 

When they ate the forbidden fruit, they hid, and God found them. 

Then, God asked Adam if he had eaten from the tree.

Instead of confessing, Adam blamed both Eve and God, saying she gave him the fruit to eat. 

This habit of blame was passed on to their son Cain, who blamed his brother Abel when God didn't accept his sacrifice.

Since then, this habit of blame shifting has become a natural part of us. 

It might seem like a good way to avoid feeling guilty. But in the Bible, we'll learn that it only brings sadness and doesn't help anyone in the end.

Looking at Adam and Cain's lives, we see how blame shifting caused trouble for them. 

For instance, Adam's blame caused problems in his relationship with God and a loss of the good life they had. 

Similarly, Cain's refusal to take responsibility led to him hurting his brother and facing difficult times ahead.

Moreover, our refusal to admit mistakes is essentially saying we know better than God and that our wrongs aren't our fault. 

It's like we’re putting ourselves above what's right and true.

Countering the habit of blame shifting

Despite blame shifting being a common habit, you can counter it. Here are some ways how.

Confession

One effective way to counter blame shifting is through confession. 

When you find yourself making a mistake or getting involved in a situation where you might instinctively shift the blame onto others, take a moment to reflect on your actions and motivations. 

Acknowledge your wrongdoing with honesty and humility. 

By confessing your faults, you demonstrate a willingness to be accountable for your actions. This can then lead to personal growth and improved relationships with others.

Recognize triggers 

Recognizing triggers works by allowing you to address the root causes of blame shifting. 

For instance, when your habit of blame shifting stems from times of anger, bitterness, or selfishness, you can explore why these emotions are surfacing and work on healthier ways to cope with them. 

This self-awareness allows you to take control of your responses. Moreover, you can choose more constructive ways of dealing with challenging situations.

Think before you say speak

In the heat of the moment, blame shifting can occur almost instinctively, leading to hurtful and unfair accusations. To counter this reflex, practice thinking before you speak. 

When you feel the urge to point fingers, pause and consider the consequences of your words. 

Ask yourself if the blame you're about to assign is justified and whether it will truly solve the issue at hand.

Take responsibility

Taking responsibility works by promoting a sense of empowerment and control over your life. 

Rather than being a victim of circumstances or pointing fingers at others, you actively engage in shaping your reality.

Moreover, it strengthens your relationships with others. 

When you acknowledge your faults and apologize sincerely, you show respect and consideration for their feelings.

This humility fosters trust and deepens the bonds of trust and respect, creating a supportive and nurturing environment for personal and relational growth.

A biblical example

When you find it hard to counter the habit of blame shifting, take inspiration from the story of David.

In 2 Samuel 12, we find the account of David's grievous transgression. 

He had an affair with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, one of his loyal soldiers. 

To compound his sin, David tried to cover up the affair by arranging for Uriah to be placed on the front lines of battle. 

But Bathsheba became pregnant with David's child.

Because of this, David attempted to shift the blame by bringing Uriah back from the battlefield. He hoped that he would sleep with his wife and assume responsibility for the child's conception. 

But, Uriah's integrity and loyalty to his fellow soldiers prevented him from enjoying the comforts of home while his comrades were at war.

When David's plan failed, he took even more extreme measures.

He ordered Uriah's fellow soldiers to withdraw from him on the battlefield. As a result, he was killed.

After Uriah's death, Nathan the prophet confronted David about his actions. 

Instead of deflecting blame or denying his guilt, David immediately acknowledged his wrongdoing and repented. 

In a moment of profound humility, he confessed, "I have sinned against the Lord" (2 Samuel 12:13).

David's response exemplifies the power of taking responsibility for one's actions. 

Despite being a powerful king with the authority to evade consequences, he chose to face his sin head-on and sought forgiveness from God. 

This act of genuine repentance led to God's mercy upon him, though David still faced the consequences of his actions in the tragic events that unfolded within his family.

Own up to your mistakes

Own up to your mistakes rather than succumbing to the allure of blame shifting. 

Taking responsibility for your actions may be challenging. But it is a crucial step towards personal growth and building stronger relationships with others. 

Remember, true strength lies not in avoiding accountability but in facing your faults with honesty and sincerity. 

By acknowledging your errors, you pave the way for genuine growth, learning, and the opportunity to seek forgiveness and reconciliation.

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