Best ways to communicate with our children

With all the pressures of work, parenting, and adulting, sometimes we unconsciously make our children our punching bags for all the stress and exhaustion we feel. 

We may not communicate with them well but we could significantly impact their childhood.

How we communicate with our kids also determines our relationship and environment with them. Thus, it is crucial to have self-control in handling our problems, especially when you are at home.

You do not want your children to think something is wrong with them, so you constantly yell at them. 

Also, you do not want them to believe that all your burdens are all because of their existence. 

As parents, we must pause and think about what kind of home we want our children to have. 

Is it a home filled with joy despite struggles or a place of heavy loads and unhappiness?

Best ways to communicate with our children

Our words, tone, and mood matter to our kids.  Good communication with them, regardless of how you feel, is essential for a healthy relationship. 

The way we talk to them shapes their worth and self-esteem. 

As God has entrusted us with these gifts of raising human beings, we must try our best to treat them the way our Heavenly Father would want them to be treated.

Here are some ways to help us communicate with our children well.

Leave your problems in your room or the office

It may seem difficult to leave our problems in the office or our rooms, but it would be easier to focus on our children’s needs if we do so. Sometimes we may be physically present but do not listen to them.

More so, our minds are filled with so many worries that we do not have room for the concern of our kids. The worst is that we may even burst out in front of them.

Frequently your children would think that their parents are so busy dealing with many things and their needs are less important than those problems. 

Furthermore, no one wants to talk to someone whose face seems like carrying all the problems in the world. Our children would not even try to share their victories and experiences if they knew that we would just shut them off.

Put down your phone and listen

We are busy parents who only want the best for our kids, and that is fine, but one of the best ways to communicate with them is by listening to them attentively without any distractions. 

We should have a limitation: once we are at the dining table, no one, even us parents, should be using their phones. We need to maintain eye contact when they are talking or speaking to them. 

Also, not using our phones could help us give all our attention to what they say. Avoid browsing your social media accounts while talking to your children. 

While doing this, you are also modeling how to communicate well with you and with other people.

Establish an open communication

Sometimes kids are afraid to tell their natural feeling to their parents because they are close-minded or do not welcome their opinions. The world is changing, and so are the approaches we need to communicate well with our kids.

Kids develop the confidence to talk to their parents if they know they will not be judged immediately or invalidated. We do not want our children to keep their struggles to themselves, so the more we open our ears and mind to them, the more they are willing to open up to us.

Make time for your family

In any relationship, time is essential for a healthy and happy connection with God, spouse, and children. Set aside a particular time for your family where there would be no other activities but to bond with each other. 

The more time we give to our children or family, the more they feel your presence as their parents. They would be more comfortable sharing their thoughts and experience with you. 

Moreover, you can talk with your spouse and kids about what they would love to do on weekends after church. 

Family bonding does not have to be expensive or luxurious. A simple movie night with your children could give them a happy childhood.

Make family meals a sharing time

Eating meals together is an excellent opportunity to ask your children about their day at school or how they are feeling. Make your dining table a place of open communication with each other. 

For new parents, it is their great chance to establish the habit of sharing during dinner or whenever they eat together. 

When food is involved, you and your children could have a great conversation about everything. You would discover more about your kids as you do this often. 

Additionally, eating together during mealtime could be an excellent opportunity for you to advise your children in a way that they would not feel that you are being authoritative but being their friend.

Show respect

We teach our children to respect us as their parents, but we should be the first to model respect to our kids. We are the ones who shape their identity, and the way we talk to them impacts the way they see themselves. 

Thus, we must respect their thoughts and feelings no matter their age. It does not mean we have to always agree with them, but we can disagree and correct our kids with respect.

When disciplining our kids, we must still speak love to them, not curse. God, our Heavenly Father, disciplines us but never says words that could hurt our feelings.

We should not force our kids to tell us about their struggles if they are unprepared. We must respect their time but assure them that you are there waiting and willing to listen to them once they feel better.

More so, we should not make our authority as parents as an excuse of disrespecting them.

Validate their feelings

One of our roles as parents is to validate the rights of our kids to feel upset or disappointed. Invalidating their feelings is like telling them that their problems are too small compared with the other issues in the world. 

As good communicators, we should let them express their feelings and help them deal with their situations in a godly way. 

Speak to them gently

Although remaining gentle amidst all our problems is challenging, our kids should not suffer. 

Let us try to show winning characters at home to raise children like Jesus Christ. Our home should be where they can feel the fruit of the Holy Spirit is alive and real. 

Being gentle with how we speak, no matter how upset we are, is a great way to talk to our kids and spouse.

Be involved in their interest

Communicating with our kids does not always have to come out of our mouths. Being involved with what they love to do is one way to show our love for them. 

When they know that you are with them, even with the things they love to do, they will be more comfortable sharing every part of their lives with you. 

Children are a heritage from the Lord

Psalms 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord offspring a reward from him.”

Our kids are unique gifts from the Lord, so we should enjoy every moment with them no matter how challenging our roles are. 

Once we have children, our world will turn upside down, but it will always be worth the change and sacrifices. 

More importantly, God has entrusted us to raise those who serve and love Him. So, we should do our best to communicate well with them because we are shaping the next generations of God’s people.