Seek the Lord while He may be found,
Call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way,
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
Let him return to the Lord,
And He will have mercy on him;
And to our God,
For He will abundantly pardon.

-Isaiah 55:6-7, NKJV

Mercy and pardon only comes to the sinner if he returns to God after forsaking his wicked thoughts and ways. That forsaking of sin part is first. The forgiveness and mercy only then follows.

But, God, didn’t you understand that forgiveness is for you? Why are you waiting on the sinner to forsake his wickedness first?

Boy, someone really needs to give God a lesson if we are to believe the common teaching in the Church on forgiveness! God seems to be doing it wrong according to that accepted “wisdom.” Didn’t anyone tell Him to stop waiting on the offending party and forgive because forgiveness is really for His benefit? I wonder if God knows that.

Also, God, didn’t they teach you that forgiveness only takes one party?! Why are you putting in a response from the wicked person as a condition for your mercy and pardon?

Aren’t you afraid of getting all bitter with the wicked person? I am sure the church people have warned you about that. Don’t let those wicked people keep you hostage. You can forgive them all on your own. It is a one-sided matter. You don’t have to wait for them to repent, right?!

I write this to expose how ridiculous the forgiveness advice is that faithful spouses are taught from pulpits and pastor’s offices all over.

God knows what real forgiveness is. This is the sort of forgiveness that requires the sinning to end and a turning to begin first, or it isn’t biblical, godly forgiveness.

Well, what if they never turn from their wickedness? Does that mean I have to hold a grudge against them forever?

No. In that case, you give the burden to God. You tell God the issue, because ultimately the sin burden is primarily between the cheater and God. God will deal with it in complete wisdom and justice. Once you give it to God (and you may need to make this conscious choice multiple times as forgiveness is a process), then you can move on with your life without that unholy tie to your cheater.

The point of today’s post is to expose the nonsense that the forgiveness thing is a unilateral gift to one’s self.

More is going on with this concept according to the Bible. God requires repentance first for forgiveness to really take place.


*A version of this post ran previously.