So these nations feared the Lord and also served their carved images. Their children did likewise, and their children’s children—as their fathers did, so they do to this day- 2nd Kings 17:41 ESV

Nearly every Christian parent of a certain generation read their kids a book called The Giving Tree, by Shell Silverstien.

The Giving Tree is sentimental little tome that chronicles the lifelong relationship between a boy and an apple tree. The tree loves the boy unconditionally and does its level best to meet every need the boy has, no questions asked. In the beginning the boy and the tree simply enjoy one another.  However, as the boy ages, he goes to the tree to have more and more of his needs met. When he needs a place to play, money, a house to live in or a place to hang out the tree enthusiastically, joyfully and sacrificially finds a way to give the boy what he wants.  The tree is unfailingly generous to the boy even when its generosity creates some rather thorny issues for the tree (like becoming a stump).  The boy never gives anything back to the tree, nor does he say, “thank you” to the tree for its kindness. When the boy returns to the tree as old man looking for a place to rest, the tired old tree offers all it has left (a stump) to the “boy”. The story closes with the: “and the tree was happy”.

Consciencely or not, nearly two generations of parents took their childrearing cues from The Giving Tree. There are reasons for this. Many parents who had children in the 1990’s and early 2000’s felt their own parents did precious little to prepare them for life. Most were left to muddle through and figure things out on their own. These folks did what flawed humans do when life feels unfair.  They overcorrected, did the opposite of what their parents did, and over-performed. These parents put their kids first. They showed up and gave till it hurt. They wanted their kids to understand how the world worked so they explained everything in excruciating detail. They made darn certain their kids never went without the newest trend, thingmajig or doohickey. Parents and teachers went out of their way to make sure kids never felt bad about themselves. As a result, two generations of children did little without receiving a trophy or some sort of reward, no matter how inadequate their effort.

These parents were not bad parents or people. Truth-be-told, they were probably the most well-intentioned parents in the history of history.  They genuinely believed kids raised by big-hearted, open-handed parents would grow up to be big-hearted, open-handed adults. Churches went out of their way to cater to this generation. Untold millions were spent giving children and youth a delightful, fun-filled church experience that tended to be tragically short on doctrinal truth and hard teachings.

Many of these adult kids have turned their backs on God and Christian morality.  A vast majority insist on having their way in everything. Few can stand being corrected or disagreed with (Proverbs 12:1). It’s their way or “no way”.  Sadly, this style of child-rearing produced a shocking number of narcissistic adults. Many have little or no respect for God, parents or even immutable facts like the existence of only two genders (2nd Timothy 3:15). This is sad, not just for the parents or society but also for the adult children. God hates narcissism or what the Bible calls the sin of pride (Proverbs 16:18, Leviticus 26:19, Psalm 10:4, Psalm 31:19, Proverbs 13:10). Prideful, selfish, narcissistic people rarely seek the Lord.  When they do its usually just for fire insurance or because they feel church attendance can offer them something useful.

I despise long screeds lacking in hope. I also fear that this post will become just that if I don’t turn a corner and offer a path forward (Romans 5:5).  I believe that if someone is breathing there is optimism for their soul because God is gracious and good. However, Christians must do three things to see change realized in this next generation. Those three things are:

Pray-

Now is the time to pray for younger generations. Children, teens and young adults are confronted daily with sweet sounding ideas and philosophies that are designed by demonic forces to lead them as far away from God and His standard of truth as possible (Colossians 2:8, 1st Tmothy 4:1).  They are told there is no God, life is a party, and morality is for morons (2nd Timothy 2:25). Nonetheless, revitalization of the church and personal revival is possible, but it won’t happen if Christians don’t ask for it (Luke 18:1).

Stand firm for the gospel-

We are where we are because the gospel has been watered down for the better part of two generations, in order to make it more palatable to the average sinner. We must end that strategy once and for all. The gospel must be preached. All of it. Including the hard parts that spell out the need for repentance, faithfulness to Jesus and lifelong transformation (Acts 2:38, Galatians 5:22, Romans 12:2).  Without those critical teachings the gospel is only partially preached (Hebrews 2:3).

And finally, we must:

Change direction-

It’s time for Christians everywhere to be sober minded and prayerful (1st Peter 5:8). We must carefully examine the philosophies and strategies that have impacted the way we parent our children, live our lives and run our churches. If we do, God will mercifully give us a much-needed fresh start.