The Privileged Life: The “Real” Meaning of Love

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

Ah, Valentine’s Day—what a truly sweet day for all who are head-over-heels in love. Bring on the chocolate!

I’m actually one of those people still madly in love with my beloved after more than 35 years with him. God blessed me with a terrific fellow, and my respect for him has grown stronger over time.

I wish I could share some bejeweled key to unlock the secret to a happy marriage. In fact, I’m often bewildered how I wound up sharing a home and family with Mr. Wonderful. I still can’t fathom why he chose me…certainly not for my fashion sense.

Do we squabble? Of course, and usually over silly stuff. Do we get over it? Pretty quickly. Do we ever think about leaving each other? NEVER.

It’s that last element—absolute commitment to each other, no matter what—that safeguards marriage and breeds contentment. If you’re grounded in that kind of security, it’s a lot easier to overlook faults, mistakes, and other little issues that turn up daily in the meshing of two individual wills.

And, total commitment makes it a lot easier to find reasons to love the one you’re with.

I recently ran across our wedding memories scrapbook and found a clipping I’d forgotten. It recites the “Ten Commandments for Marriage” and gives two lists, as follows:*

These are all great pointers, but that first commandment for the wives really baffles me. What in the world is the “real meaning of love”?

I could give you practical examples. It’s real love when he doesn’t make fun of my fashion failures. It’s real love when I move his shoes every day to where they belong (not in the middle of the floor), without complaining. It’s real love when he gets up every morning to work for our family. It’s real love when I make pies for his foodie wishes while trying to stay on my diet. It’s real love when we still find things to talk about during evening walks together.

Ho hum. Not exactly fireworks-popping romantic.

But maybe that’s what real love is. It’s sacrificial every single day. It’s how God loves each of us, not only seeking our fellowship (isn’t that remarkable?) but giving up His only Son so that we can have fellowship with Him in spite of our sinful nature. He loves us even when our love for Him is so incredibly weak and selfish.

Friend, do you have that kind of godly love in your heart? I certainly don’t have it all the time. But over the years, watching how much my husband sacrifices for me has inspired me to be more selfless to him. He’s been a living reflection of Christ’s love.

You can see I’ve had it easier than most. I’m well aware, too, that Valentine’s Day can be very painful for others…I was single a very long time. I don’t want to be flippant to those who’ve had to tough it out in their marriage, to those who are fed up with singlehood, or to those who fear getting involved at all.

Perhaps you’re in a relationship where your spouse doesn’t exhibit that kind of faith or walk with the Lord. If so, maybe you’re in a position to show the real love of God. Maybe you’re the one who will offer His love sacrificially, without expecting anything in return. That would be the definition, to me, of real love.

The truth is that marriage is an ongoing training ground for the Christian life, and I encourage you to look at it from God’s point of view. How could you and I be more like Him in loving others? How could we move the needle on our heart dial from self-centeredness toward being more selfless? How would you define “the real meaning of love”?

Friend, my prayer for you—whether you’re cooing or cringing over Valentine displays—is to use this week to reflect on your own walk of love. May we all find ways to love more abundantly…as God loves us…with joy, commitment, and sacrifice.

*…he’s still tall, I’m still short, but we’re still giddy in love after 35 years!*

Jesus, Lord and Savior, how I cherish Your love for me. I long to rid myself of my selfishness and plunge recklessly into loving others the way You do. Give me the strength of Your character, the courage of Your sacrifice, and the faithfulness of Your never-changing love to offer to others who share my life. Let me find true joy in Your real love. In Your blessed name, Amen.

Nancy C. Williams is a Christian wife/mom with a writing career spanning more than 40 years in business and journalism. Williams is the author of the novel To Love a Falcon and the devotional book A Crocus in the Desert: Devotions, Stories, and Prayers for Women Experiencing Infertility. Her weekly blogs are featured on Crossmap.com. To follow Nancy’s posts and news, go to her home page at http://lightbournecreative.com and subscribe at the bottom.

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*An internet search attributes this clipping to Cecil G. Osborne, author of The Art of Understanding Your Mate (Zondervan, 1974).