Narcissism in the Bible: How to avoid excessive self-love
Time and time again, we have been told to love ourselves despite our flaws.
However, there comes a point where self-love can become too much. This is where the idea of narcissism comes in.
In this article, we will differentiate healthy self-respect and dangerous narcissism, allowing you to gain insight and deal with possible narcissistic behaviors in yourself.
Accordingly, you can find a good balance of self-love and kindness, following spiritual wisdom.
Definition of narcissism
We will be exploring two views of narcissism. One is from the perspective of psychology and another from the pages of the Bible.
Based on psychology
Psychology explains that narcissism means having a really high opinion of yourself and getting lost in daydreams about your greatness.
You act calm and collected, but when your big ego is in danger, you get rattled. You might not care much about others and might even use them for your benefit.
Narcissism is considered to be a way of thinking. But for others, it could be a piece of a bigger personality problem called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Based on the Bible
Similar to its definition in psychology, narcissism is defined in the Bible as excessive self-love.
In a letter Paul wrote to Timothy, he seems worried about how leaders in the church are behaving. He tells Timothy to watch out for those who act like they love themselves way too much.
Paul says,
"Listen up, things are going to get rough in the future. People will be all about themselves, chasing money, bragging, feeling proud, disrespecting others, being ungrateful, acting unholy, lacking love, refusing to forgive, talking bad about others, and not controlling themselves. They'll be harsh, rejecting good things, betraying others, stubborn, full of themselves, and choosing pleasure over God. They'll act like they're close to God, but they won't really follow His power. Stay away from folks like that."
Narcissists in the Bible
The Bible introduces some characters who show signs of narcissistic behavior.
By learning from their stories, you can gather insights into the dangers of being self-centered.
Jezebel
Jezebel, a queen, displayed narcissistic behavior by believing she was superior to others.
She manipulated her husband, King Ahab, to fulfill her desires and ignored the well-being of the people.
Moreover, she introduced the worship of false gods, which showed her disregard for anyone's beliefs other than her own.
Her actions led to conflict and suffering, and her refusal to change her ways ultimately resulted in her tragic demise.
Nabal
Nabal was a wealthy man who only considered his interests.
When the noble King David sent messengers asking for help, Nabal dismissed them. By doing so, he showed no respect for authority. His sense of entitlement and lack of empathy were evident in his response.
Nabal's selfishness could have led to disaster, but his wise wife Abigail intervened to save him from the potential consequences of his actions.
King Nebuchadnezzar
King Nebuchadnezzar was a prideful and arrogant ruler.
He claimed credit for his kingdom's greatness without acknowledging God's role. His boastful attitude led to his downfall.
The king was humbled through a period of insanity, living as an animal until he recognized the power of God.
His transformation came only when he put aside his pride and acknowledged his dependence on a higher authority.
The Pharisees
The Pharisees, despite being religious leaders of their time, exhibited narcissistic behavior. As they were knowledgeable of the teachings, they often emphasized their righteousness while looking down on others.
They took pride in their strict observance of religious rules. Moreover, they criticized Jesus for associating with those they deemed unworthy.
Their self-righteousness blinded them to the true teachings of compassion and humility, and they missed the essence of God's message.
The devil
The devil, or Satan, rebelled against God and sought his worship. He believed he deserved the same reverence as God. This led him to deceive and tempt humanity away from goodness.
His selfish desires resulted in his fall from grace and his transformation into the embodiment of evil. Since then, he is forever separated from the divine presence.
How to avoid excessive self-love
While it is important to have love for yourself, remember that you're instructed to love God above all else, with your whole heart and soul.
If you noticed your self-love getting out of hand, address it right away to not end up having to face the same consequences as the aforementioned Bible characters.
Do not hunt for praise, serve God out of adoration for Him
Resist the urge to constantly seek approval and praise from others. Instead, channel your efforts toward serving God out of genuine adoration for Him.
This way, your actions are driven by a deeper purpose, and your self-worth isn't solely tied to external validation.
Consider how your actions affect others, form healthy relationships
Forming healthy relationships involves understanding and empathizing with others' feelings and needs.
By being mindful of how your choices affect others, you can foster positive connections and create a supportive environment where everyone feels valued and respected.
Pursue your needs, but do not neglect others
While pursuing your own needs and desires is important, it's equally vital not to neglect the needs of those around you.
Reflect on Ruth's selflessness as she supported her mother-in-law, Naomi, showcasing the significance of extending a helping hand to those in need (Ruth 1-4).
Learn how to compromise
Embrace the skill of compromise as a way to navigate disagreements and find common ground.
By understanding that there might not be a single "right" answer, you can work collaboratively to reach solutions that accommodate everyone's perspectives.
Overcome jealousy
Guard against allowing jealousy to control your thoughts and emotions.
Instead of making situations solely about your feelings, work on genuinely celebrating others' successes and focusing on your journey of growth and achievement.
Stop feeling the need for blame-shifting and gaslighting
Reject the habit of deflecting blame onto others or manipulating situations through gaslighting.
Take responsibility for your actions and communicate transparently to promote healthier interactions and genuine accountability.
Remember that everyone is equal in the eyes of God
Remind yourself that every individual holds equal importance in the eyes of God, irrespective of differences.
Approach others with kindness and respect, recognizing the inherent value in every person.
Do not weaponize God’s Word
Refrain from misusing spiritual teachings to manipulate or harm others.
Instead, employ the teachings of your faith to promote understanding, empathy, and love in your interactions.
Relinquish control to God
Release your need for excessive control over every aspect of your life and entrust your path to God's guidance.
Recognize that surrendering control can lead to a sense of peace and purpose.
Avoid judging and demanding grace
Refrain from hastily passing judgment on others and expecting both people and God to extend grace without understanding.
Embrace a mindset of compassion and empathy, treating others as you hope to be treated.
Finding the right balance
Strive to strike the delicate balance between embracing self-love and steering clear of narcissism.
It is important to appreciate your worth and take care of yourself, but ensure this doesn't morph into self-centeredness.
Truly worship God by placing Him above all else, recognizing His supremacy.
By loving yourself with healthy humility and wholeheartedly adoring God, you can walk a path of genuine devotion and meaningful connection, honoring both your value and the divine significance.
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