How to deal with the feeling of rejection

Have you ever experienced the sting of rejection? 

Perhaps you've applied for that dream job only to receive a polite rejection email, or mustered the courage to confess your feelings to someone you adore, only to be met with an apologetic decline. Maybe you've been left out by a friend during a hangout, feeling like you don't quite fit in. 

Rejection is a universal human experience. Even the best of us is not exempt from it.

Moreover, it's only natural to feel disheartened when faced with rejection. 

The pain and disappointment that accompany it can be overwhelming, leaving you wondering why things didn't work out as you hoped. 

But as a Christian, you know that life is not without its trials. This feeling of rejection can be one of the most challenging to cope with.

However, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this struggle. 

The Bible provides insight into how to deal with the weight of rejection. 

That being said, this article explores the empowering teachings of the Bible, offering you practical and uplifting advice on navigating through the feeling of rejection.

The effect of rejection

According to psychologists, rejection can be traced back to our ancient roots as hunter-gatherers living in tribes. 

In those days, our survival depended on belonging to a group, so being cast out from the tribe was akin to a death sentence.

Evolutionary psychologists propose that we developed a warning system to detect the looming threat of rejection.

This would then prompt us to modify our behavior, maintain our position within the tribe, and ultimately pass on our genes. Hence, those who experienced rejection more intensely were more likely to ensure their survival within the community.

However, the impact of rejection goes beyond survival instincts. 

It also has profound effects on our emotional well-being. They damage our mood and self-esteem, eliciting waves of anger and aggression.

But regrettably, the most significant damage caused by rejection is often self-inflicted. When faced with rejection, we tend to turn on ourselves. We dwell on our perceived flaws, and harbor feelings of disgust towards ourselves.

This tendency to berate ourselves is emotionally unhealthy and psychologically self-destructive. Yet, it's a pattern that most of us have experienced at some point in our lives.

Biblical characters who dealt with the feeling of rejection

As you grapple with feelings of rejection, take solace in knowing that you are not alone. Look to the following biblical characters who faced rejection and adversity yet emerged stronger. Then, try to draw lessons from their experiences.

Jesus Christ 

Jesus Christ faced rejection from various groups during his earthly ministry. 

The people of Nazareth, who knew him since childhood, doubted his authority as a prophet. Because of their doubt, they dismissed him as just a carpenter's son. 

Meanwhile, religious leaders of the time felt threatened by his teachings and perceived him as a challenge to their authority. This then led to their rejection of his message. 

Ultimately, Jesus endured the most severe rejection when he was crucified by men, a painful and unjust punishment. 

However, in the face of rejection, Jesus displayed unwavering love and forgiveness. 

He continued to preach and spread his message of compassion. He was even praying for his persecutors during his crucifixion, setting an example of resilience and unconditional love.

Joseph

Joseph, the beloved son of Jacob, experienced rejection from his own brothers out of jealousy and resentment. 

They sold him into slavery, casting him away from his family and homeland. 

Despite the betrayal, Joseph maintained his faith and integrity. 

In Egypt, he rose to a position of authority through divine providence and his ability to interpret dreams. 

When his brothers later faced famine and sought help, Joseph forgave them. There, he demonstrated a forgiving heart and understanding that God's plan was at work. 

He acknowledged that even in the face of rejection and hardship, God's purpose could prevail. Because of this, he chose not to succumb to bitterness or anger.

Hagar

Hagar, an Egyptian maidservant, faced rejection and mistreatment from her mistress, Sarah, the wife of Abraham. 

Sarah's envy over Hagar's ability to conceive a child with Abraham led to Hagar being cast out and abandoned in the wilderness. 

Alone and desperate, Hagar cried out to God.

He saw her pain and assured her that He had a plan for her and her son. 

As a result, despite her marginalized status, Hagar found comfort in knowing that God saw her and cared for her. 

In the wilderness, she discovered a well that sustained her. This was a symbol of God's provision even in times of rejection and despair. 

Hagar's story teaches us that even when we feel rejected and forgotten, God is always there, offering us strength and hope.

Ways you can deal with the feeling of rejection

When faced with rejection, you can try to cope in certain biblical ways. Here are some of them.

Acknowledge the experience

Allow yourself to feel the emotions and recognize that it's okay to be hurt.

For instance, face rejection from a potential employer after a job interview, acknowledge the disappointment without dismissing your feelings.

Pray 

Pray earnestly to avoid harboring bitterness and unforgiveness towards yourself and others involved in the situation. 

For instance, if you experience rejection in a romantic relationship or a friendship, seek guidance from God to find the path of forgiveness and allow healing and growth to take place in your heart.

Do not take it personally 

Remind yourself that everyone faces rejection at some point, and it doesn't diminish your value or potential.

If someone rejects your invitation to hang out or declines your social event, remind yourself that it's not a reflection of your worth as a friend or a person. Instead, consider that they might have other commitments or reasons unrelated to you

Turn to His Word for reassurance

Turn to His Word, the Bible, for reassurance and comfort during these challenging times.

Find passages that remind you of God's love, acceptance, and purpose for your life.

Learn from the experience

Reflect on what you can take away from the situation, how it can make you stronger, and what valuable lessons you can carry forward.

For instance, if your idea is rejected in a brainstorming session at work, use it as a chance to understand your colleagues' perspectives and find ways to improve and adapt your proposal for future success.

Fall and come back stronger

Feeling rejected can be like taking a hard fall, leaving you covered in mud and bruises. 

It's tough to get back up and face others, fearing they'll see you in such a vulnerable state. The pain and shame can be overwhelming, making it hard to see a way forward.

But find comfort and strength in God's Word.

Let His Words remind you that you are valuable, no matter what rejection may say. God sees your heart and understands your struggles, and He loves you deeply.

Moreover, use this experience as a chance to grow and learn. 

With God's help, you can rise above the pain and come out even stronger. 

Let the lessons from this tough moment shape your character, making you kinder and more understanding toward others facing rejection.

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