The Road of Bad Choices - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he let the people go.

-Exodus 8:32, KJV

Cheaters become cheaters by going down “The Road of Bad Choices.” They have hard hearts because they have chosen to harden their hearts just as Pharaoh did.

I make this point for two reasons:

1) I suspect many cheaters started off alright as spouses. Not all started a marriage as double-life-leading, adulterous traitors. They got there gradually.

2) The hardness of heart towards God and their spouse is chosen by them. They are fully responsible for this state of heart.

The marriage conditions did not make this happen. Poor performance on the part of the other spouse did not make this happen. Rather, the cheater’s hard heart is the natural outcome of the cheater continuously making bad and ungodly choices.

The outcome of our marriages was up in the air for many of us on our wedding day. It did not necessarily have to end in adulterous betrayal and divorce.

Even after making sinful and adulterous choices,

But many did not.

They chose to harden their hearts. They chose the path of pride over the path of humility. They chose the sinful delight of the moment over the long-term joy of righteousness.

This sorry state of affairs is NOT on you, faithful spouse; rather, the responsibility falls fully on the chooser–i.e. the cheater.

______

*A version of this post ran previously.

Post navigation

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Buzz words of dismissal - Divorce Minister

    “Defensive,” “Over sensitive,” “emotional,” “up in your feelings,” etc. These are the sort of labels people make of victims in order to avoid the awkward work of looking at the actual misbehavior. It’s very dismissive of the pain faithful spouses are experiencing to treat them like this. I have experienced labels like these over the … Continue reading "Buzz words of dismissal"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater-Speak: "I think it's best..." - Divorce Minister

    “I think it’s best for both of us if we live apart.” -Cheater A Cheater saying something like this is a Cheater planning on abandoning the faithful spouse. Now, they may or may not be self-aware about this. It is possible that they are so self-deceived that they believe the lie about the separation benefits. … Continue reading "Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…”"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    In Mammon they trust! - Divorce Minister

    24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. -Matthew 6:24, KJV 24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will … Continue reading "In Mammon they trust!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Conflicted Feelings at Reunion - Divorce Minister

    I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. In fact, this week will be my 20th Reunion! Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this … Continue reading "Conflicted Feelings at Reunion"

    3 min read
  • featureImage

    Happy Father's Day, Faithful Spouses! - Divorce Minister

    Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Spouses! Father’s Day is a complicated holiday for many. To me, it represents a restored dream. When my first marriage ended, I was left wondering if I would ever get to be a father. God answered that question in affirmative when I married Mrs. DM becoming an instant father to her … Continue reading "Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Spouses!"

    1 min read

Editor's Picks

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Buzz words of dismissal - Divorce Minister

    “Defensive,” “Over sensitive,” “emotional,” “up in your feelings,” etc. These are the sort of labels people make of victims in order to avoid the awkward work of looking at the actual misbehavior. It’s very dismissive of the pain faithful spouses are experiencing to treat them like this. I have experienced labels like these over the … Continue reading "Buzz words of dismissal"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater-Speak: "I think it's best..." - Divorce Minister

    “I think it’s best for both of us if we live apart.” -Cheater A Cheater saying something like this is a Cheater planning on abandoning the faithful spouse. Now, they may or may not be self-aware about this. It is possible that they are so self-deceived that they believe the lie about the separation benefits. … Continue reading "Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…”"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    In Mammon they trust! - Divorce Minister

    24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. -Matthew 6:24, KJV 24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will … Continue reading "In Mammon they trust!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Conflicted Feelings at Reunion - Divorce Minister

    I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. In fact, this week will be my 20th Reunion! Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this … Continue reading "Conflicted Feelings at Reunion"

    3 min read
  • featureImage

    Happy Father's Day, Faithful Spouses! - Divorce Minister

    Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Spouses! Father’s Day is a complicated holiday for many. To me, it represents a restored dream. When my first marriage ended, I was left wondering if I would ever get to be a father. God answered that question in affirmative when I married Mrs. DM becoming an instant father to her … Continue reading "Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Spouses!"

    1 min read