How parents' behaviors affect their kids

Our words, actions, gestures, behaviors, attitudes, and responses significantly impact our children. 

Not all parents know that our behavior towards life mainly shapes our children’s personalities.

Our children notice everything we do, such as how we talk with our spouse and other people. 

They observe the way we complain and be thankful about life at the same time.

Thus, being a parent is about more than just providing for their basic needs, such as shelter, clothes, food, and education. 

Parenting is far more than securing their future and giving them the best life possible. 

God has entrusted us to mold human beings, and our behavior affects how we would become. The way we shape our kids could be both fascinating and devastating.

How do parents’ behaviors affect their kids

The social environment in which children grow up can either be emotionally supportive and nurturing or harmful and distracting.  

Our kids notice every little detail we do and show them, so we must be more careful in our behaviors.

Therefore, parenting could be scary at some point because whatever we do shapes the kind of person our child will be. 

We could be raising a man or a woman who could be beneficial or problems of our society.

Here are some ways parents’ personalities and actions affect their children.

Aggressive communication

How do you talk to your children? How we speak to them matters significantly in how they view themselves. 

Child Development Journal from the University of Pittsburgh (USA) stated that harsh and authoritarian verbal discipline could seriously impact child development.

Additionally, based on their studies, shouting and persistent threats as behavior corrective could result in two consequences. 

First, the child would have behavioral problems when he reaches his youth. Also, it could depict a higher risk of developing depressive disorders.

Thus, we should avoid communicating with our kids aggressively, no matter how pressured and stressed we are. 

Invalidating emotions

When your children tell you how they feel, how do you respond? Do you tell them that it is not a big deal, or do you spend time listening to their feelings? 

How we respond to their emotions matters and could significantly impact their personalities as they grow up. 

When parents invalidate their feelings, we boycott the psychosocial development of our kids. 

We unknowingly convince them that what they want and need is optional. 

Children with parents who invalidates their feeling tend to face their problems alone. This could lead to more negative consequences. 

Moreover, children who experience invalidation of feelings have a hard time dealing with their internal needs. They suffer from discomfort, brokenness and unhappiness.

There is nothing as vital as validating children’s feelings and leading them on how they can handle them.

Stressed parents

Is there a time when you shouted at your children because you had so many things in mind? 

Parents who feel stressed and pressured seem to be constantly busy and do want their kids to disturb them.

Besides, they do not have time to play with their children or communicate their concerns. Most of the time, stressed and anxious parents quickly lose their patience.

Although they are physically present for their kids due to their anxiety, they may not feel their presence. 

The children would not be encouraged to get closer to their parents because they would always think they did not have time for them.

Thus, children could seek their parents’ attention by misbehaving in class or at home.

Furthermore, stressed and anxious parents could raise children who are also stressed and anxious. They most likely feel pressured and worried about their struggles growing up.

Unhappy marriage

Children who grew up watching and hearing their parents fight are most likely unhappy kids. 

Some couples choose to stick together despite their broken marriages for the sake of their kids. 

Additionally, some parents think it is better to live together than get divorced so that their children are not affected. 

However, living together in a miserable marriage could impact them as well.

Besides, there can be more devastating effects when they grow up in a house of chaos and a lack of affection from their parents. 

Having a home with parents who yell and hate each other could leave the children with more than one trauma.

Children with unhappy parents tend to imitate the same situation when they have their own family. 

Since they have yet to learn what a happy and healthy home looks like, they would end up with the same kind of marriage and family setup.

For instance, a child with an abusive father who hurts his wife most of the time could become like him when he grows up. He may think breaking women is a sign of strength and masculinity.

Loves comparison

Are you the parent who often compares your kids with others or even their siblings? 

A comparison shows someone is better than the other, which could lead to self-doubt and low self-esteem in our children.

While some children could take it positively to improve, most lead to self-distractions and jealousy. Parents are unconsciously raising their kids to compare themselves with other people.

The comparison does not give them satisfaction with what they have. They may end up being ungrateful and insecure about who they are.

In addition, parents who like to compete with others would also affect their children’s behavior. 

There is a possibility that their kids would always like to have better things and be in a better position than others. 

Poor money mindset

Some parents may struggle with managing finances. Our behavior toward money could also shape how our kids think about money. 

Some parents feel like they carry all the heavy burdens when they do not have money.

Moreover, parents may unconsciously teach their children the wrong concept of money. Some parents think they could never be happy without having a lot of money. 

It could affect their children's ability to handle their financial issues when they grow up. Besides, if parents value tithing, then their kids would most likely grow knowing the significance of giving back what it due to the Lord.

Furthermore, instead of trusting God, they would do their own thing to solve their financial problems. 

Besides, they would focus on storing treasures here on Earth instead of their treasures in Heaven.

It is high time to break the chain

Parents with poor behavior are most likely to experience the same parenting styles as their parents. 

We should not judge their personalities because they are also victims of their parents' past suffering.

However, the good news is that we could break the chain of suffering for our kids. With God’s help, we can change our destructive behaviors into something that could benefit our children.

When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit dwells in us. 

With the Holy Spirit's help, we could bear good fruits such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23) 

The more parents devote themselves to God’s word, the more they can become the parents that God desires them to be. 

Although it could be challenging to change, Jesus did not give us timidity but the power to overcome our struggles, including our destructive behaviors.

Thus, always remember that God has trusted us to raise our children. We have the power to make or break them through our behavior. 

As long as there is still time, there is always time to change those personalities that could hinder our children from becoming better people.